Growing Pains at This Age?…. Issue 8

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Greetings Resilient Friends,

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I was excited to see a special girlfriend of mine last weekend. I’ll call her Josephine, and she is 12. Every time I see her, she gets taller and taller. I hugged her and said, “Oh my gosh, you are almost as tall as I am! You must be having growing pains”.

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“Oh yes”, she said…”my legs hurt so much and it’s not from soccer.”

I replied, “I remember my mom used to give me a milk bath for my growing pains. She would mix some Carnation powdered milk into a hot bubble bath and have me soak in it for half an hour. I’m wondering now if it was just a placebo?”

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“What’s a placebo?” Josephine asked, with a curious expression. ;)

“Just ask your mom for a placebo for your growing pains,” I said, “and see what she adds to your bath. You know, your mom is very wise” :)

“Be sure to let me know what she comes up with, ok?”

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“I will”, Josephine replied…” They told us at school that these growing pains will end soon”, she continued, “sure hope so!”

Oh my gosh… I thought. She doesn’t know yet that growing pains never stop. I’m not going to tell her… kind of like being the one to tell a child there is no Santa, I thought. She sees growing pains as cramps in her legs, but they are so much more.

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And, if we are wise at this point, we understand that growing pains are found in every room, in every decade, in our castle of life. ❤️

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I imagined what Josephine’s mom would add to her bath… even if only metaphorically.

J’s mom would place in her bath a golden skeleton key of wisdom to help her open the doors to each decade of her life with curiosity, confidence, purpose, and determination.

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And J’s mom would also add some honey to Josephine’s bath to help her always act with kindness and compassion towards herself and others. The honey would also help her always look for what is right in her world and not what is wrong with it.

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Our growing pains continue over our lifetime, some physical, but also mental and emotional. The point to remember, growth is usually painful, but that growth produces wisdom.

In the first two decades of life growth is measured by tests, announced ahead of time, with ample time to study and prepare to do well. In high school, pop quizzes are added to remind kids they must always be prepared, just as we hope them to be life.

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Unlike school, life is full of tests, but they all aren’t obvious. Some of the biggest tests, are the ones we don’t see coming. These are the hidden growth opportunities that test our character and ability to persevere. These hidden growth tests might be a relationship challenge, health crisis, or a sudden shift in life’s plans that force us to adapt. When we look closely, these hidden challenges are designed to push us out of our comfort zones and into spaces where growth can occur.

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It’s not always clear why we are going through a particular test at the time, but it is in those moments of struggle that we discover what we are truly made of. These inner struggles reveal our strength, our patience, and our ability to adapt.

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It is our reactions and responses, how we navigate through these tests, that we find the strength to keep going. We discover patience when we are forced to wait, courage when stand up for ourselves and others, and humility when we have to admit we don’t have all the answers and we are not in control of all we thought we were.

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Our growing pains are about navigating through life’s uncertainty with Grace. They teach us how to let go of our need for control and trust that things will unfold in the way that helps us develop a deeper connection to ourselves and the world around us.

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Many times, these growth tests are not recognized. People believe they are just living through one of life’s difficulties after another. They do not understand that each obstacle is shaping them in ways that they might not realize till much later.

We are tested not to attain a specific result, but to develop certain qualities within us. It’s about becoming more resilient, more compassionate, more patient, more adaptable, and more accepting of all life has given us.

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With this perspective of acceptance, we can find gratitude in the challenge of growing pains in our lives. These growing pains do not require perfection or are we rewarded with good grades.

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We are simply invited by life to show up and give our best even when the outcome is uncertain. Life asks us to dig deep within ourselves, to push past our limits, and to discover new strengths we didn’t know we had.

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Growing pains help us understand ourselves on a deeper level, see the world with a more open heart, and teach us that the true value of a test lies not in the outcome, but in the lessons we learn along the way. ❤️

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We are all in this together, Susan and Mike

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